Sunday, January 10, 2010

Your Daily Dose of Snark

Ruben Navarette from CNN has opinions:
Polls show a detectable amount of angst among many Americans over the cost of health care reform, government bailouts and other massive expenditures. There is a sense in many parts of the country that President Obama and Congressional Democrats are trying to do too much too fast and running up too high a bill in the process.
Do you really think people are sitting around thinking, "Gee, that war in Afghanistan is fine, and I don't really have a problem with taxpayers giving hundreds of billions of dollars to Wall Street bankers so they can keep gambling and paying themselves bonuses, and normally, I'd be stoked about the prospect of fake health care reform written by insurance companies, in which insurance companies are handed over millions of new customers to screw over at taxpayer expense. I just don't understand why they had to do it all at once! If they'd spread it out over a couple years, I wouldn't mind getting bent over so much."

No, I don't think that's it. 
Worse, there is growing anxiety that -- in trying to do so much at once -- the administration and Democrats in Congress have taken their eyes off more important matters. Like keeping the country safe.
Right. Because the government should just drop everything it's doing every time some college kid tries to   blow up his underwear and fails. Because the problem isn't that terrorists are scaring us too much, it's that  we aren't sufficiently scared!

You know, I'm not really scared of terrorists. I'm scared that I'm going to lose my health insurance and get cancer. Because that kind of shit happens every single day. You want to keep me safe, Obama? Do something about that. I'd rather get blown up than die of cancer any day.
The recent terror scare orchestrated by Umar Farouk AbdulMutallab, the 23-year-old Nigerian suspected suicide bomber who allegedly intended to blow up a U.S. airliner on Christmas Day, has only heightened those concerns.
Because morons like you won't shut the fuck up about it.
And frankly, Obama's comments Thursday about the incident and the changes that his administration is preparing to make to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again won't do much to reassure the country. The remarks were underwhelming and predictable.
You know what would have been overwhelming and completely unpredictable? If he had come out wearing a cape and carrying a ray gun and promised that he would protect all Americans from the bogey man under their beds and the monsters in their closets, and then rode of into the sunset on his rainbow colored pony. Reagan would have done that.

That might have convinced more Americans that Obama and everyone who works for him understand that, in this deadly game of counterterrorism, you have to catch every possible threat. 
We can do this. Each American should be issued a gun, 1000 rounds of live ammo, and an invisible cloak. We will then declare martial law, and require all Americans to gather in groups of four, standing motionless no less than 500 yards apart, in an open field, facing outwards with their backs together. Anything that moves gets shot. I think this can work.

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